Sayeth The Bee

these have aged a little bit, but I love them -

“I’m laughing so much my kidneys are starting to fill up.”

“Daddy, sometimes when I have to go to the naughty chair, I feel crestfallen.”

“Mommy has something in her tummy, and it’s not food, it’s a people!”

To Easy Bake, or not to Easy Bake?

This shouldn’t be such a hard decision.

Bee has this at the top of her list of gifts she’d like for the holidays.  Our hesitation isn’t because the toy oven has an age recommendation of 6 and up.  No… wait, is it 7 and up?  I’ll go look… hold on… holy cow, you aren’t going to believe this – they have it as 8 and up!?  You should be 8 years old to be able to place your hands carefully near a lightbulb?!

Anyway, no, the reason is that she made pancakes on the stove top just this morning (she’s 4), and has been cooking with me since she could stand.  She helps cook everything already.  It is true that she can’t reach the oven to put things in, or take things out – - but it is also true that the Easy Bake oven says that adult supervision is required (so that oafish 8 year old of yours doesn’t get in trouble with a lightbulb).

She wants to bake independently – and the toy isn’t even recommended for that.  It costs a good 6 bucks every time she’d want to make a cookie-sized little cake (pro-tip, you can make 3 actual cakes for that money).

The marketing and package design are sexist and entirely dismiss boys as a consumer.  Cooking isn’t for girls any more than it is for boys.  That notion is absurd and reflects an ugly history of keeping women tied to the home while men go out and earn – as offensive to the men who would prefer to be caregivers as it is to the women who want to pursue careers.

To some people, that is going to sound unfair. It turns out that (according to the reviews I’ve read) a big audience for this toy is the mothers that wished they had it as a child and now want to live vicariously through their children.  That it doesn’t occur to them to just bake with their kids is odd to me – but I know how nostalgia can be a heavy motivator.  There is the underlying point that their own parents didn’t get the oven for them for some reason.  I’d be willing to bet that ability to afford the toy isn’t the main reason (though it may have been the main reason given) – I imagine that since their own parents did a lot more cooking than parents do today, they had similar reasons for denying this toy to their kids:  they cooked regular food with the child instead.

And there is the problem area.  The “we’ll just cook normal food together, honey” solution didn’t satisfy the children in question (the one’s desiring to live vicariously through their kids today).  Maybe it is a sort of desire to do miniature cooking – maybe the tiny frivolousness of the venture is the main attraction and shouldn’t be dismissed so lightly?  Or – maybe it’s the advertising blitz this toy relies on.  Bee doesn’t watch commercial TV much at all (only on occasional Saturdays does she watch network cartoons) – and yet the commercials she’s seen for the EBO have made a big impression.

I don’t want this to be her Red Rider BB gun – the thing that she sits back and says “yeah, these are wonderful presents, but what I really wanted was that Easy Bake Oven”.  I’ve heard some interesting arguments for allowing your child to pick out trashy toys from time to time, so that they get a sense of self-determination and learn that sometimes things look better than they are – and that mom and dad are sometimes right about something being a piece of crap.

A substitute idea we have had is to get quality kid-sized baking impliments for baking real food in the real oven.  She already has a few – and we’ve seen some good ones out there.  The play kitchen, while not a complete waste of time/money/space has not turned out to be something she’s very interested in.  She wants to do the real thing – and more power to her.

Here is the part we came up with that I think might be brilliant:

Some complaints about the EBO are that it is too expensive, and that you can get a good quality toaster oven for that price.  Do see where I’m heading?  The mini muffin trays and cake pans we’ve seen on the market could fit in a toaster oven (I’ll check on this to be certain, but I know at least a mini cookie tray would easily fit).  We could also use it for strictly practical uses – heating/baking small things at lunch time, etc. (with more energy efficiency).  So – what if we had a chat with Santa about getting a real oven for Bee instead of a plastic piece of crap with a lightbulb in it and decals for temperature gauges and timers?  It wouldn’t cost any more – she could make a wider variety of things – it won’t end up unused in a closet somewhere even if it didn’t hold her interest.  So – a couple of kid-sized pans, good children’s oven mitts, and a run-of-the-mill toaster oven could be ideal.  Rational compromise.

We’ll run it by the man up north.

update:

While you can get a regular toaster oven for less than an EBO – it would be of poor quality or too small a size, so we are 86ing the EBO subject in favor of just using the kitchen as usual.  Some kid-sized muffin pans and oven mitts are in order, though – hopefully they will scratch some of that EBO itch for the Bee.  Also, the notion of losing more counter space was weighing me down.  Maybe the suggestion would work for someone in other circumstances, though – and it seemed like a fun, smart alternative at the time.

stop the press:

Here is exactly what we wanted. Real non-stick cookware, real recipe cards with scaled ingredients.

Li’l Gourmet is the brand – they have some real sets and some play ones, the real ones are right on the money for us.

a link to the Baking Set.  They also have a cupcake making set, a cake baking set, and others – - each have more decorating accessories than the Easy Bake brand, and they make food with ingredients you have in your cupboard, in actual batches.  The price is lower as well.

Free Site For Make-Your-Own Comic Strips

MakeBeliefsComix.com is a website I came across after reading a short piece about it in Family Fun magazine.  You choose a from a few panel options, 15 character options, and loads of editing choices.

This is exactly the kind of thing Bee is getting into right now, and I think we’ll have a lot of fun with the site.  They also offer a lot of pre-designed layouts, lacking only dialog – so you can use them as a creative writing exercise.  Pretty brilliant!

Here is a tutorial.

Bottle Cap Necklace

One suggestion offered by Bee’s teacher, regarding some early preschool separation anxiety, was to make a necklace with our pictures on it, that she can bring to school and look at when she is feeling sad.  So this morning we made one.

A Bottle Cap Necklace – it came out well, and more importantly it helped lead to Bee proudly announcing that she had a better day – and that she expects the next day to be even better (twenty times better, to be specific).  A huge relief for all of us!

Here are some pictures – it is an easy project, and only took about 20 minutes to make.

Ingredients: One bottle cap, some Modge Podge, an assemblage of pictures set to fit into the cap (about a one inch diameter), some beads (or charms, etc), and some string (or fancier material).

1- assemble the pictures (I used Photoshop – but collage would have been fine)

2- poke two holes in the top edge of the bottle cap (with a hammer and nail)

3- sand the sharp parts around these holes (the cap ridge itself wasn’t sharp)

4- Modge Podge the photo into the cap

5- string it all together with some beads

Starting Preschool – Trying Times

So far, Bee is having a hard time being in (two day, afternoon pre-) school.  It has only been 2 days, mind you, but it is still a hard time for us.

She puts on a brave face at drop-off time (the first day she was so excited that she forgot to say goodbye – instead launching into “I have great news! Today is my first day of school!” with the teacher.  Then later the stories unfolded about how she was so sad while I was away.

Almost the very first thing to come out of her mouth when she woke on the second day of school was, “Why would we waste a perfectly good day like this at school?”, followed by “You’ve already taught me everything they teach there, anyway.”

She’s usually such a happy kid, and makes friends on playgrounds in 2 seconds flat, so it’s confusing new territory and it breaks my heart – but I’m trusting those that say it gets better.

Here is one resource, among several, that I’m ‘road testing’.

Quick Click: 9 Parent-Tested Ways to Ease Separation Anxiety – Ease preschool drop-offs with these simple suggestions.

We picked up a copy of The Kissing Hand this afternoon, too – and we’ve read it together three times.  Her teacher suggested making a necklace with our pictures on it that she can wear – so, we’ll try that tomorrow (her third day).  They are all reading A Pocket Full Of Kisses tomorrow in class (which is a sort of Kissing Hand sequel).

We addressed the subject of her being more advanced than many of her peers by choosing a mixed-age Montessori classroom for her – even so, her teachers seem very impressed by her vocabulary and knowledge.  When she isn’t crying.

I’ll post more about these days of change in our home – including pics and info about the biggest little change – but this post serves as my late night venting about a subject that is probably affecting a lot of families at this time of year.

The Last “Just Us” Days: A Portrait.

The idea to get a portrait taken occurred to me this morning.  This is the second to last day we are together alone – forming our little daytime home world.  The technical ‘lasts’ start stacking up as the baby readies herself to arrive.

Of course we are ecstatic about the baby – but I must acknowledge the special bond I have with my first child.  She’s the one who taught me to be a big-D Dad.

Bee will always be my first child, and the four years that she made our family Three will always hold a special significance.  She weathered the death of her unborn sibling with us last year, an event nearly as difficult as any other the members of our family have faced. The three of us clung to our love for each other while the world turned.

She taught us to see the holidays again, and to experience the other changing cycles in the natural world with brand new eyes and hearts.  She taught about patience and concern, to a degree that people without dependants can never experience.  She turned a gangly, self conscious, aging geek into a real life Super Hero whose choices affect the foundations of her life – her mind, and her body.

Her eyes made of her Mom and I mythical archetypes, that will shade her understanding of women and men and the love people build and maintain for one another.  Starting through us, she learns kindness, reasoning, creativity, our place in nature, and a joy of learning.  She learns to consider the flip side of how we treat others – by considering how we want to be treated ourselves (as taught in philosophies dating to 3000 years BCE).

I had a couple of pictures taken, to record our appearance as it is today.  Before her baby sister arrives, and before she starts preschool (in about 3 weeks) – this is Me and My Bee.

She’s the only little girl in my world – and I love her so much.

Kidos – software that kiddifies your computer

This sounds interesting.  Mac or PC friendly.

from their site:

About Kidos

Kidos is a revolutionary new platform for children’s learning and entertainment. Our free and easy download allows a child to use her parents’ computer as if it were her own! No more having to worry about files being accidentally deleted, settings being changed or kids closing the browser by mistake. No more cries of “Mommy!” every time he clicks the “back” button by mistake or the internet connection is slow.

Our secure, child-friendly and lightly animated interface lets children easily use all sorts of media: games, books, learning modules, music, video, and art. Best of all, it works on either a Mac or PC and…it’s free! You can also easily add your own music, art, photos, and video!

We’re busy aggregating the best children’s media from all over the world. Want to help your child learn a foreign language? You’ve come to the right place!

Kidos is currently in private beta. To take part in the soon to be released public beta, please sign up and we’ll notify you soon!

The Safe Side Follow-up/Review

this post is a follow up to this one

We all watched the Safe Side video together yesterday.  We enjoyed it and learned a lot together.  I especially like their use of language, a precise vocabulary using “Don’t Knows” instead of “Strangers”, and “Kinda Knows” recognizing that people kids have simply met are not necessarily people they know (an important thing to teach, keeping in mind that children are statistically in far more danger from people they kinda know than from people they’ve never met).

Bee enjoyed the video and she responded well during the times we were prompted to pause the video and discuss a segment.  The video also prompted us to make a list of three adults, not in her immediate family, that she has permission to trust/go with if we aren’t present.

The filming is kinetic (full of action and/or funny images to pair with important information – a proven memory enhancing technique) and the acting is well done and enjoyable.  The scenarios are presented in a realistic way – with a level of threat that didn’t frighten, so much as put the viewer ‘on alert’.  Teaching using fear can create the risk that a child will withdraw from information out of discomfort – the Safe Side video was carefully constructed to avoid that pitfall and to instill knowledge.

I don’t recall the age recommendation on the site, or video – - but Bee (four) is a good age for it.  I think she would have been receptive to it when she was three, as well.  Elementary school age kids may well be the prime target audience.

I recommend it first as something for you to watch with your young child, and second as a gift idea for grandchildren and families with young children.

Here is a tool linked to on the Safe Side site – a site that identifies the locations of registered sex offenders in your area.  Definitely something to be aware of.

Safety Tats

Safety Tats are temporary tattoos that you add your cel phone number to – and they seem like a smart idea.

I worry a little that they could make parents a little less vigilant, and I want to emphasize here that teaching your child to stay close and to know how to handle themselves if they become separated, or are approached by someone they don’t know, is most important (see this post).  But these temporary tattoos mimic the arm band programs offered at some amusement parks, and could obviously be helpful in some circumstances.

Check out Readeez™

I want to call it a fusion of Ben Folds and Edutainment – and since it is my blog, that’s just what I’ll do.

Here is an introduction, in their own format:

Introduction Readee

(image ©Readeez)

“Readeez are exactly as entertaining as they are educational. Which is to say, “very.” Kids like the stories, songs and characters. Grownups like the fact that reading instruction happens automatically, all the time.

Every syllable of a Readee answers that perpetual kid-question “What does this say?” The written and spoken halves of a Readee reinforce one another. In other words, it says what it says. Watch a few yourself and you’ll see!”

Check out the website, watch free samples galore, become a fan on Facebook, check out their YouTube channel, read praise from a more professional blogger,  – and buy some up – clearly a positive venture by creative family people who work hard to make cool stuff your kid can learn from.

I have a special appreciation for father/daughter collaboration.  Also, I look forward to Bee’s reading independence (closer every day) more than I looked forward to her ability to walk – so, Readeez, thanks!

(ps- not affiliated with Ben Folds in any way that I know of)